Adventures: Battle or Bus Pt. 3 - Crooked Embarrasment

As told by Fed....

Hype to Vans, I can't believe this guy is ready to go. Hold on... I guess Mr. I is about to strike when out of nowhere the announcer come back on:

AIGHT YA'LL MUFUCKAZ!!! WE GON DO IT A LITTLE DIFFERENT THIS ROUND!!! THESE NIGGAZ GON GO FOR 32 IN 4X8 ROUNDS!!! EACH ARTIST'S 8BARS BACK TO BACK AFTER THE OTHER UNTIL IT'S OVER. YOU HEARD ME, NIGGA!!! CROOK GO 8, FED GO 8 AND YA DON'T STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!! NO STOPPIN, NO FLINCHIN!!! LET'S GO!!!

Aight... that's a real nice switch... Besides.. it's more fun that way.

"So what you waiting for, playboy?" I jeer at Crook.
"I'm just savoring this moment... I'm coming back after this one," he responds.
"That's some inspiring shit, nigga. Homo, but inspiring. Shut up and go."

Crooked I/Federal Ranga

This is Crook's house now and you about to get slaughtered
I would son this nigga, but he's more like my daughter
You're way out of order. Out of time. Go to sleep
Little boy. Crooked I is Cronos on beats
And my flow so heat I burn Lincoln's Cabin
As for talent? I don't know what makes you think you have it
My skill? Can't match it. I guess you one of those guys
Who doesn't know spitting garbage is a filthy habit
No Vans on, but you still getting rolled on
Fuck a Slaughterhouse that's been forclosed on
You another hasbeen that just can't sell
So believe it when I say, "Crooked I's taking a STRAIGHT L"
Ya man Buddens is looking for someone to call out
Royce ain't been the same since him and Em had a fallout
The only cool one in ya shit is Ortiz
And he know what it was last time he saw me

Suddenly the beat switches to E-40's "Automatic"

My flow smoother than the moves of Lil Tight Eyez
See, I was playing with you Fed. Now it's no more Mr. Nice Guy
No more bullshit. That ain't what I came here to do
I gotta eat you. I was taught not to play with my food
And I'm straight in the mood to do you all kinda ways
Insomianc type flow. I do this night and day
You can see it in my face, I'm not the one to get heated
I body bag rappers. No toe tags needed
My nigga, you about to piss myself with this hilarity
This battle is favor, bitch. I'm well known for charity
Who you gonna body bag with that average verse?
I'd kill your career. But you'd have to have one first
Church! Oh, my bad. I meant to say Chuuuch!
This West Coast bias shit ain't helping you as a crutch
I'll school you to the game, bitch. I'll set you up for classes
I'm more than meets the eye. You couldn't see me with my glasses

Then the beat switches to Fresh 83' by the Game & 50 Cent? Man, I swear this battle started to get personal.

I swear this nigga think I'm a joke when I'm rappin
He must've forgot that people die laughing
Nigga, I fathered ya style. I technically invented you
I am the prototype. I do what you pretend to do
Nobody's into you. So why you acting all manish?
What its like to always be known as Tony Grand$ bitch?
Fuck you. Give me mills. Crook say what he really feel
You Milli Vanilli lil nigga that's your Achille's Heal
See you done fucked up now. Aye, this bitch gotta go
Grand$ my nigga. But Fed ain't ever dick rode a soul
Yeah I'm part of the Commission!!! Got power you couldn't fathom
Cuz I spit the kinda heat scientists use to split atoms
So with all due respect where respect is due
I can respectfully say I have no respect for you
You can't jump with me, bitch. You lost from the tip off
This a call off, you ain't fall off. You slipped off

The beat switches one last time... It couldn't be more perfect. Still D.R.E. by the Good Doctor

You stuck on your high horse. I'll take you down a step
Just by showing up, you served and clowned yaself
Shit. If I were you, I would break quick nigga
I don't discriminate. I hate bitch niggaz!
I see that look in your eye. You wanna punch me in the face
Go ahead. Swing. It'll be the last punch you'll ever take
Don't be surprised. I'm just so fuckin comfy in my space
You so far behind. You should feel lucky that you raced
See, Crook. You don't know me. I'll show you a surprise
I slice and dice rappers. Plus make Julian Fries
The skill you speak of, you lack to compete
So do a Mayweather and battle who you can actually beat
Back to defeat goes you. I'm back on my feet
I been crack. To spit that, bitch, you have to be heat
Their ain't no one on my level cuz I blew right past others
So call me Mario. Cuz I just SUPER SMASHED BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The force of my last punchline incited a fuckin riot, man... Before this nigga could even reach out to try to shake my hand for good sport, he was snatched back into the crowd screaming, "I failed you!!!" or some shit. Wonder what the fuck he was talking about?

"G-G-G-G-G-G-UNOT!!!" comes a voice from the background.
"Aww, man... you've gotta be joking."
"You going down, nigga. Is Compton in this bitch?!" Game screams out to a roar from the crowd.
"What the fuck are YOU doing here? Last I heard you doing like 50 to life for impersonating an MC."
"That's none of ya fuckin business, bitch," he snaps taking off his NWA chain. "Let's just say somebody did me a favor and I'm about to return it."
"Fuck... lets do it. I'm sick of all this bullshit. The fuck is Kurupt when you need him?"

Don't go nowhere... the battle gets ugly.

Adventures: Battle or Bus Pt. 2 - Nippin @ Nipsey

Remember... Gin & Juice instrumental

Nipsey's Verse:
Now why ya'll tryna make this into something that it ain't people?
He ain't built for battling. He's thinner than the Space Needle *wild oohs*
One punchline could probably crack him in half
That's why you chose a safe career at Shell pushin gas
I'm a West Coast legend. Straight facts in my own rights
And I own all my shit. You don't even have ya own life
Why you screaming Commission!!!? You da lamest in ya squad
A weed carrier who doesn't get paid to do his job *Loud Ohhhs*
Why you tryna rap homey? You ain't real
Spittin a bunch a bullshit the hood can't feel *More oohs*
Speakin of hood, we know that you not
Can't chill nowhere. But Hussle can post in ya spot
I move just about anywhere in yo city
You can ask ya bitch, Chuntell. She wanna get up with me
Matter of fact? I'ma get with her tonight
Soon as I put you on that bus and take this flight, nigga *Wild applause*

That's the best you got? Look at these clowns... all cheering, slappin fives and shit... are you serious? The DJ even acting like the nigga one already and shit. Won't even let me spit. I'm not going out like this am I?

"Ayo! DJ... Spiiiin that shit for me!" I scream at that asshole. Next thing I know a new instrumental starts spinning. Is this for me? Hell yeah. The Next Episode by Dre! Nigga, it's a wrap. So you know meeee....

Fed's Verse:
Mr. Hussle you need a lesson. So Fed is gonna teach you
I can't take you serious when you looking like a bleached Snoop *Loud ohs*
I know I'ma kill you. This isn't even fair sport
What you need my flight for? Bitch, you work at the airport! *Louder Ohs*
So I don't know how the fuck you gon destroy me
And try to leave. You can't. You're Delta's best employee *Erupting laughter*
I'm about to turn the lights out. Beat me? You
Gotta better chance crashing a plane in Suge Knight's house *Crowd daaaaaaaaamn*
You sound like the hyphy version of Kurupt, yo
And I JUST saw the nigga. Shoutouts to Kurupt, though
But fuck that. Let's get back to the business
Rip yo ass til you finish and with that I'ma end this *Beat stops, WTF?*
So these last four bars are directed at you
You'll never be shit in the game til you respect what you do
I'm the shit like Weezy except I refused to be flushed
So fuckattaheah. Where's my plane? Put this douche on the bus BIATCH! *Silence*

What? Are you kidding me? Nobody likes me... then... a sonic boom of cheers as it's obvious that I've won this shit.

"Hold the fuck up!" some nigga yells from the crowd silencing everybody as Hussle walks back to his duties. And more aggresive guy walks out towards me with a clean cut and beard and Timb boots. He ain't fuckin around. As he walks closer, everyone in the crowd moves out of his way. Dude's got much respect. Announcer comes back:

HUSSLE MAY BE GONE, BUT THE GAME'S NOT OVER YET, NIGGAZ AND NIGGETTES!!! NEXT OPPONENT!!! CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKED IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! 32 BARS, LET'S GO!!!!

More wild applause as the crowd prepares to enjoy the show.

"Your reputation preceeds you, homey," Crook reaches out to me to touch mics.
"Tell me something I don't know, fool," I snap back cockily.
"Aight... Let's handle it then."

Beat drops again... on some new shit the DJ spins... wait? Vans by The Pack? Huh? But Crook seems to be read... stay tuned