Posts

September 11th, 1986 > 9/11/2001

I'm pretty positive I'm going to catch some flak for this... what with it being my first post in almost 6 months and all. Whatever...

October 24th, 1929... not ringing a bell? Let me press on.

December 7th, 1941... still not jogging your memory? Figures.
This obviously isn't working for you so let me try something a little more recent.

August 24th, 1992
April 19th, 1995
August 28th, 2005

Seriously? Nothing?! Damn...

Go back on decade though and one date pops up in your mind. 9/11. Unfair. Bullshit. That's fucked up.

"But Fed, almost three thousand people died that day!" you say. And?
"Fed, a country was changed forever!" you hollerin at me. So?
"How would you feel if you lost someone, my nigga?" you getting pissed off at me. I can feel it.

BIG DEAL.

Now. If you haven't guessed by now, I could give a fuck about 9/11. Not at all. Not one bit. It's my freedom as a fuckin person to choose not to care. "You're heartless. I can't fux wit…

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!

What's crackin world? It's the big homie Federal Ranga... Damn, sounds like I'm doing my show doesn't it? I'on blame you if it does. The last time you guys saw me here it was June 2010 and I was in the middle of the Adventures of Federal Ranga about to have my character tear off in the Game's ass [||]. Honestly? I got stuck. I wrote bars SO hard for Game I didn't know what to put for Fed. Ain't that a bitch? Please believe Fed's gonna win though (come on, I wrote this shit). That's not the only distraction that's kept me away from WtCMS. My ex-fiance aka Fed's Lady, work, bullshit and the recent explosion that is Commission!!! Productions spearheaded by my "popular" vlog On Yo Ass!!!. Yes you gotta say it with 3!s. On Yo Ass!!! has become the crown jewel of my life. I love talking hip hop & rap shit, interviewing artists, being sent music to review & feature on the show and knowing that I can actually profit from it, too…

Adventures: Ronnie the Ruler

(As told by Tony Grand$)


Being in the Commission!!! is rough sometimes. Being me is complicated. Being a writer, an emcee, a mentor and a neighborhood conglomerate is hard, but that's neither here nor there. All this is a cakewalk compared to the degree of being associated with -
"GRAND$!!! My man!"
- Ron Mexico's "Better Half". If you haven't guessed now -
"GRAND$!!!"
- I'm -
"GRIZZY!!!"
Tony Grand$.
"AYO, TG!!!"
And that man -
"You ignoring me?"
- who seems to have a megaphone for a voicebox today -
"Nigga, I know you hear me!!! PIERZY!!!"
- is a nuttier than an handmade acorn pie for a squirrel's Thanksgiving. What black man you know gives himself the last name Mexico? But what can I say? I'm his right hand man []. For those of you unfamiliar, if you ever come not too far out from the Cali/Zona border between Interstate 40 and 10 you'll find Ron Mexico City. He was originally going to go with &quo…

Adventures: Battle or Bus Pt. 5: Game Goes Off

Game's Bars
(As told by Federal Ranga)


We finally about to get it on. Rakim is in the house, it's 64 bars and it's time to go. What's the Difference by Dr. Dre is spinning (what's up with all these west coast beats, man?) and the crowd is pumped. Feeling cocky than a mufucka, I opt to go first. I didn't want people to think I had time to think lyrics out. Fuck that. I got some type of integrity damnit.

"Yo, let's do this shit!," I holler out. "I'ma go ahead and straight-" This nigga completely cuts me off and starts his 64 bars off. Fine. Fuck it. Let him go... fag. Only one of us really has something to prove here.


Game 64:
Now keep ya eyes wide open. I dilate you, nigga
I'on need Busta Rhymes to Violate you, nigga
This is Eazy like the E, but minus the 40
And they gon be pourin em out when I'm done with you, shorty
This nigga'z like 5'10". Why he rappin tough?
Spike Lee must be doing casting the way he acting up
You as re…

Adventures: Battle or Bus Pt. 4: The Game & The God

(As told by a spectator in the crowd)


Aight, so check it, right? This Fed nigga destroys Crook L or whatever the fuck his name is and we snatch his ass up, namsayin? Next thing you know Game steps in all huffin, puffin and shit outta nowhere. Now I know I'm just a nigga in the crowd, but shit, I was tryna catch a flighy my-damn-self, y'know? But fuck all that, I'm into the battle now.

When Fed said that shit about Game being locked up for 50 years for impersonating an MC, he wasn't kidding. Game was already on his 6th year so I'm like *ppssshhh* fuck he get outta there and shit? See back in 2021, not too long after the USA became the Newnited States of Rap it was like all mandated and stuff that fraud wasn't tolerated on any level especially in rap. Part of some "Keep it 103" Law or something like that. So impersonating an MC today is like... like.... 1st degree murder in this bitch. And nobody takes this law more serious than President Snoopy D-O-Dub. …

Adventures: Battle or Bus Pt. 3 - Crooked Embarrasment

As told by Fed....

Hype to Vans, I can't believe this guy is ready to go. Hold on... I guess Mr. I is about to strike when out of nowhere the announcer come back on:

AIGHT YA'LL MUFUCKAZ!!! WE GON DO IT A LITTLE DIFFERENT THIS ROUND!!! THESE NIGGAZ GON GO FOR 32 IN 4X8 ROUNDS!!! EACH ARTIST'S 8BARS BACK TO BACK AFTER THE OTHER UNTIL IT'S OVER. YOU HEARD ME, NIGGA!!! CROOK GO 8, FED GO 8 AND YA DON'T STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!! NO STOPPIN, NO FLINCHIN!!! LET'S GO!!!

Aight... that's a real nice switch... Besides.. it's more fun that way.

"So what you waiting for, playboy?" I jeer at Crook.
"I'm just savoring this moment... I'm coming back after this one," he responds.
"That's some inspiring shit, nigga. Homo, but inspiring. Shut up and go."

Crooked I/Federal RangaThis is Crook's house now and you about to get slaughtered
I would son this nigga, but he's more like my daughter
You're way out of order. Out of time. Go to s…

Adventures: Wacknificent Scandals

In an undisclosed cave somewhere in the middle of Stone Mountain, Georgia a group of men sit with evil looks on their faces...


They are the Wacknificent League of Doom.


They plot to takeover the Newnited States of Rap with their catchy hooks, autotuned voices, retarded dance crazes, technicolored insane jewelry and 3rd Grade lyricism. They are the collective of Soulja Boy, Gucci Mane, OJ Da Juiceman, The New Boyz, Bow Wow, Yung Berg, Plies, Rick Ross and the entire Young Money roster.


A woman walks around a huge board room table to a wall in the cave as all the rappers turn their attention towards her. The room goes silent she presses a button on the wall and a giant flat panel TV rises from a hidden compartment.


"Where the fuck is Weezy? That swaggerless mungkey... Always fuckin late. Not like the Bossssssss," Ross lets out frustrated.
"Brrrr...," exclaims OJ. "Mayne, it's cold as fuck in here. Who dumbazz thawt it wussa gud idere to put a fuckin boardroom in …